FLM films - My Webpage

1998-07-22 00:00:00 - Anandi, the Cat Op's rules for domination - (reina616@aol.com)

On my site, <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Parc/5217">Letters to Nikita</A> in *Michael's Lair,* I write about Anandi, a cat who finds the lair and decides to move in. She and Cochise, a severely abused former guide dog, become the animal ops who detect the approach of hostiles as quickly as electronic gear does, perhaps earlier. Here is Anandi taking charge of Michael and proving who's boss here. >>Basic Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run >> >>1. CHAIRS AND RUGS: >> >>If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot >>manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is >>available, shag is good. >> >>2. DOORS: >> >>Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, >>stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, >>it is not necessary to use it. >> >>After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in >>and out and think about several things, This is particularly >>important during very cold weather, rain, snow, and mosquito >>season. >> >>3. GUESTS: >> >>Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that >>human's lap. If you can, arrange to have "Friskies Fish n' Glop" >>on your breath. >> >>For sitting on laps or rubbing against clothing, select fabric >>color which contrasts well with your fur. For example: white >>furred cats go to black wool clothing. >> >>For the guest who claims, "I love kitties," be ready with aloof >>disdain; apply claws to stockings or use a quick nip on the >>ankle. >> >>When walking among the dishes on the dinner table, be prepared to >>look surprised and hurt when scolded. The idea is to convey, "But >>you always allow me on the table when company isn't here." >> >>Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It isn't necessary to do >>anything. Just sit and stare. >> >>4. WORK: >> >>If one of your humans is sewing or writing and another is idle, >>stay with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise known >>as hampering. Following are the rules for hampering: >> >>A. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the >>cook. You can't be seen and thereby stand a better chance of >>being stepped on, picked up and consoled. >> >>B. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between the >>human's eyes and the book, unless you can lie across the book >>itself. If it is a news paper, claw at it until shredded. Your >>human will appreciate a home-made toy! >> >>C. For knitting projects, curl up quietly onto the lap of the >>knitter and pretend to doz. Occasionally reach out and slap the >>knitting needles or split yarn. The knitter may try to distract >>you with a scrap ball of yarn. Remember, the aim is to hamper >>work. >> >>5. PLAY: >> >>It is important. Get enough sleep in the day time so you are >>fresh for playing catch mouse or king-o-the-hill on their bed >>between 2am and 4am. >> >>MOST IMPORTANT: Begin people training early. You will then have a >>smooth-running household. Humans need to know basic rules. They >>can be taught if you start early and are consistent. >>

1998-07-22 00:00:00 - Re: Anandi, the Cat Op's rules for domination - (beck92856@aol.com)

ROFL As slave to four house cats, I can personally vouch for each and every one of these "rules". Gudrun, always on ear cocked for that "ick, ick, ick" that precedes a "gift" from one of her girls

1998-07-23 00:00:00 - Re: Anandi, the Cat Op's rules for domination - (maryas@aol.com)

I've received these "rules for cats" several times in email and thoroughly enjoy them! Did you write them Reina? If so, my hat's off to you :D Mary Anne

1998-07-23 00:00:00 - Re: Anandi, the Cat Op's rules for domination - (reina616@aol.com)

I got them from Marti, TMiller. I have a collection of cat humor and a section on cat therapy on my site. So I slanted the whole thing to Anandi, cat op, who once slept on Michael's face and because he didn't toss her across the room, decided to move in. Did I also post Anandi's rules for living? If not, will post.

1998-07-23 00:00:00 - Re: Anandi, the Cat Op's rules for domination - (Jaida <R@sprintmail.com>)

Reina 616 wrote in message > >Did I also post Anandi's rules for living? If not, will post. You have, I believe, posted EVERYTHING. Jaida ���������

1998-07-30 00:00:00 - Re: Anandi, the Cat Op's rules for domination - (catknsn@aol.com)

I know the Evil Kitty would agree with all of that. For further information on my Evil Kitty, you may visit his web site at http://members.aol.com/CATKNSN2/evilkitty.html Cathy No, really, I don't have too much time on my hands!