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1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Wickddollnospam@hotmail.com)


On Sun, 14 Jun 1998 19:19:35 GMT, "Colin Whipple" <colincpaNOSPAM@soca.com> wrote: > OK, here's one of MY basic training stories. There was this really obnoxious native Arkansan TI in charge of my flight (troop). She was quite bossy, but had a mouthful of rotten teeth that made me ill to see. One of the rules in basic training is that you refer to everyone by their rank, then their last name, even when off-duty. Well, I thought it was stupid to do that during off-time, so I refused to comply. This TI was sort of lurking around the barracks one day, casually listening in on our convo - I knew she was there, but didn't give a crap. I yelled to another girl across the room to get her attention, by saying "HEY SANDY"! The TI comes STORMING into the room, with this fierce look on her face (I was a burr in her butt from day one), and SCREAMING at me, "AIRMAN ATKINS! (my maiden last name) that should not be 'Sandy', but it should be Airman WHO"?! She had this smug look on her face, fully expecting me to recant and refer to Sandy as " Airman Whateverherlastnamewas". I looked at all the terrified faces around me, then calmly looked that rotten-toothed slug in the face and said, "Why, that should be AIRMAN SANDY"!. The TI looked as though her head would explode, but the rest of the girls were laughing so hard, she had no choice but to go along with it. Later that night, the TI asked me where I was from (Winter Park, FL) - she then used that standard basic training line, "I'm flattered that you came over 2,000 miles from Winter Park, Florida to San Antonio, Texas, solely to piss me off"! It's a wonder, but I made it through basic training without being 'set back' (held back). I had a really fresh mouth. Surprised? Didn't think so. :-D Natalie, veteran smart-ass

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Colin Whipple <colincpaNOSPAM@soca.com>)


You topped me. I was too terrified then to do anything as dumb as that. :-) Colin Wickddoll wrote in message <35842617.2074057@news.turbont.net>... >On Sun, 14 Jun 1998 19:19:35 GMT, "Colin Whipple" ><colincpaNOSPAM@soca.com> wrote: > >> > >OK, here's one of MY basic training stories. > >There was this really obnoxious native Arkansan TI in charge of my >flight (troop). She was quite bossy, but had a mouthful of rotten >teeth that made me ill to see. > >:-D > >Natalie, veteran smart-ass

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net>)


Wickddoll wrote: On Sun, 14 Jun 1998 19:19:35 GMT, > Gee Colin and Natalie: I stayed away from the military and went on to college. I wish I could tell you some of the great stories, but I'm not sure the statute of limitations has run out on some of them back in good ol' VA. I could tell you about mooning the city of Baltimore from an Amtrak train...but I don't want to get all potty mouthed...Jen might be reading, you know <VBG> I will tell one story, though.... I used to be married, and my ex gave me a lovely pair of earrings one Xmas. Theu were in the shape of little bees because the name "Melissa" means honey bee in Greek. We drove to my parents' home for the Xmas gathering, which included my older brother, my younger brother and his bride, my mother and father, and my great Aunt Mary, who was old as dirt. As we sat around the family Xmas tree in the living room, we began exchanging gifts. I wore the earrings and thought to show my mother, who admired them as all mothers do. And I said to her, "Of course, you know what my name means in Greek?" My younger brother overheard this, and we've always had this l-e-e-t-l-e edge of competition between us...besides that, he's one of those guys that thinks he knows it all and is better than everyone else (his wife is the same way, too...)...anyway, he sort of sniffs and says, "No Melissa, what DOES your name mean in Greek?" I didn't miss a beat and said, "Chicken f**ker, John." Great Aunt Mary whooped and about did a back flip off the piano bench. We haven't discussed this since in my family. Melissa stings like a bee

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Wickddollnospam@hotmail.com)


On Sun, 14 Jun 1998 20:06:18 GMT, "Colin Whipple" <colincpaNOSPAM@soca.com> wrote: >You topped me. I was too terrified then to do anything as dumb >as that. :-) > >Colin > Wasn't trying to top you... anyway, that's not even the ballsiest thing I did in BT. I'll share those stories during the next bout of rerun hell. :-D Natalie, gotta be her... she has no choice

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (DGB1 <DGB01@aol.com>)


> Natalie, veteran smart-ass Well I was never in the service, but I am a smart-ass. I once worked for the ultimate fascist company. They actually redecorated the offices to put 7 foot tall x 2 foot wide windows (which they made us sit with our backs to) so that the gestapo, I mean management, could peek in on us all day long without our knowing. It was funny to get up to get some coffee and see vice president Heintz (not his real name or nationality) walk from window to window pressing his nose against the glass. Anyway, I started looking for another job, but in the meantime, I always made sure that I keep a shiny reflective object on my desk so I could watch *them* watch me. Needless to say, I used this as my cue to look busy. One day I had been working until 9:00 pm to get something done. I happened to glance at my 'rear-view mirror' and saw Heintz with his hands and nose pressed against my window like a cat in front of a fish tank. Well this is too much, I thought. It is one thing to monitor me during company hours, but I was there at 9:00 pm out of the goodness of my heart. I decided to have a little fun. I picked up one of my references books and started mumbling to myself in a perplexed tone of voice. "Hmmm... I wonder, I wonder what the answer is." Then without turning around I shouted. "Hey, Heintz! Maybe you know!" I had so much trouble keeping a straight face as he fell against the window after trying to jump through his skin.

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Wickddollnospam@hotmail.com)


On Sun, 14 Jun 1998 20:21:51 GMT, melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net> wrote: >> Gee Colin and Natalie: > >I stayed away from the military and went on to college. I wish I could >tell you some of the great stories, but I'm not sure the statute of >limitations has run out on some of them back in good ol' VA. > >I could tell you about mooning the city of Baltimore from an Amtrak >train...but I don't want to get all potty mouthed...Jen might be reading, >you know <VBG> > >I will tell one story, though.... > >I used to be married, and my ex gave me a lovely pair of earrings one >Xmas. Theu were in the shape of little bees because the name "Melissa" >means honey bee in Greek. We drove to my parents' home for the Xmas >gathering, which included my older brother, my younger brother and his >bride, my mother and father, and my great Aunt Mary, who was old as dirt. >As we sat around the family Xmas tree in the living room, we began >exchanging gifts. I wore the earrings and thought to show my mother, who >admired them as all mothers do. And I said to her, "Of course, you know >what my name means in Greek?" > >My younger brother overheard this, and we've always had this l-e-e-t-l-e >edge of competition between us...besides that, he's one of those guys that >thinks he knows it all and is better than everyone else (his wife is the >same way, too...)...anyway, he sort of sniffs and says, "No Melissa, what >DOES your name mean in Greek?" > >I didn't miss a beat and said, "Chicken f**ker, John." > >Great Aunt Mary whooped and about did a back flip off the piano bench. We >haven't discussed this since in my family. > >Melissa >stings like a bee > > AND THE WINNER... FOR BIGGEST BALLS IN THE NEWSGROUP IS... MELISSA! (applause) Here, Melissa, take your 'Golden Globes' (plural) statuette ROFLMAO! I'm brave with strangers, but my family? Hell no. They scare me. :-D Natalie, one of the Addamses

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Colin Whipple <colincpaNOSPAM@soca.com>)


Great, Melissa! Colin melpor wrote in message <35843271.CEE86756@bellsouth.net>... > >My younger brother overheard this, and we've always had this l-e-e-t-l-e >edge of competition between us...besides that, he's one of those guys that >thinks he knows it all and is better than everyone else (his wife is the >same way, too...)...anyway, he sort of sniffs and says, "No Melissa, what >DOES your name mean in Greek?" > >I didn't miss a beat and said, "Chicken f**ker, John." > >Great Aunt Mary whooped and about did a back flip off the piano bench. We >haven't discussed this since in my family. > >Melissa >stings like a bee > >

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net>)


I love it! I love it! Melissa laughing her glass off DGB1 wrote: > > Natalie, veteran smart-ass > > Well I was never in the service, but I am a smart-ass. I once worked > for the ultimate fascist company. They actually redecorated the offices > to put 7 foot tall x 2 foot wide windows (which they made us sit with our > backs to) so that the gestapo, I mean management, could peek in on us all > day long without our knowing. It was funny to get up to get some coffee > and see vice president Heintz (not his real name or nationality) walk from > window to window pressing his nose against the glass. Anyway, I started > looking for another job, but in the meantime, I always made sure that I > keep a shiny reflective object on my desk so I could watch *them* watch > me. Needless to say, I used this as my cue to look busy. > One day I had been working until 9:00 pm to get something done. I > happened to glance at my 'rear-view mirror' and saw Heintz with his hands > and nose pressed against my window like a cat in front of a fish tank. > Well this is too much, I thought. It is one thing to monitor me during > company hours, but I was there at 9:00 pm out of the goodness of my > heart. I decided to have a little fun. I picked up one of my references > books and started mumbling to myself in a perplexed tone of voice. > "Hmmm... I wonder, I wonder what the answer is." Then without turning > around I shouted. "Hey, Heintz! Maybe you know!" > I had so much trouble keeping a straight face as he fell against the > window after trying to jump through his skin.

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Colin Whipple <colincpaNOSPAM@soca.com>)


Wickddoll wrote in message <3584318a.5004969@news.turbont.net>... >> >Wasn't trying to top you... anyway, that's not even the ballsiest >thing I did in BT. I'll share those stories during the next bout of >rerun hell. OK. Next rerun period. My next story then will be from when I was married. And then there is the one about Pink Shirt Day where I used to work. Colin > >:-D > >Natalie, gotta be her... she has no choice

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Colin Whipple <colincpaNOSPAM@soca.com>)


Neato. Did Heintz behave after that? Colin DGB1 wrote in message <3584321C.796EE043@aol.com>... >> Natalie, veteran smart-ass > > Well I was never in the service, but I am a smart-ass. I once worked >for the ultimate fascist company. They actually redecorated the offices >to put 7 foot tall x 2 foot wide windows (which they made us sit with our >backs to) so that the gestapo, I mean management, could peek in on us all >day long without our knowing. It was funny to get up to get some coffee >and see vice president Heintz (not his real name or nationality) walk from >window to window pressing his nose against the glass. Anyway, I started >looking for another job, but in the meantime, I always made sure that I >keep a shiny reflective object on my desk so I could watch *them* watch >me. Needless to say, I used this as my cue to look busy. >One day I had been working until 9:00 pm to get something done. I >happened to glance at my 'rear-view mirror' and saw Heintz with his hands >and nose pressed against my window like a cat in front of a fish tank. >Well this is too much, I thought. It is one thing to monitor me during >company hours, but I was there at 9:00 pm out of the goodness of my >heart. I decided to have a little fun. I picked up one of my references >books and started mumbling to myself in a perplexed tone of voice. >"Hmmm... I wonder, I wonder what the answer is." Then without turning >around I shouted. "Hey, Heintz! Maybe you know!" >I had so much trouble keeping a straight face as he fell against the >window after trying to jump through his skin. >

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net>)


My family is fairly used to this...I've been an outrageous ( and embarrassing) child to them all 44 years....like the time I told the visiting Episcopal minister (seated in polite company) about the carnivorous habits of father rabbits around their tender and helpless offspring..with demonstrative mouth action and noise....Cotillion came too late...as my grandmother used to say, I'm a hellion. Melissa who accepts this honor on behalf of all the little people I stepped on (namely my brother John) to win this award.... PS: John Waters is also my cultural hero....that will tell you a lot! Wickddoll wrote: > On Sun, 14 Jun 1998 20:21:51 GMT, melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net> wrote: > > >> Gee Colin and Natalie: > > > >I stayed away from the military and went on to college. I wish I could > >tell you some of the great stories, but I'm not sure the statute of > >limitations has run out on some of them back in good ol' VA. > > > >I could tell you about mooning the city of Baltimore from an Amtrak > >train...but I don't want to get all potty mouthed...Jen might be reading, > >you know <VBG> > > > >I will tell one story, though.... > > > >I used to be married, and my ex gave me a lovely pair of earrings one > >Xmas. Theu were in the shape of little bees because the name "Melissa" > >means honey bee in Greek. We drove to my parents' home for the Xmas > >gathering, which included my older brother, my younger brother and his > >bride, my mother and father, and my great Aunt Mary, who was old as dirt. > >As we sat around the family Xmas tree in the living room, we began > >exchanging gifts. I wore the earrings and thought to show my mother, who > >admired them as all mothers do. And I said to her, "Of course, you know > >what my name means in Greek?" > > > >My younger brother overheard this, and we've always had this l-e-e-t-l-e > >edge of competition between us...besides that, he's one of those guys that > >thinks he knows it all and is better than everyone else (his wife is the > >same way, too...)...anyway, he sort of sniffs and says, "No Melissa, what > >DOES your name mean in Greek?" > > > >I didn't miss a beat and said, "Chicken f**ker, John." > > > >Great Aunt Mary whooped and about did a back flip off the piano bench. We > >haven't discussed this since in my family. > > > >Melissa > >stings like a bee > > > > > > AND THE WINNER... FOR BIGGEST BALLS IN THE NEWSGROUP IS... > MELISSA! (applause) Here, Melissa, take your 'Golden Globes' > (plural) statuette > > ROFLMAO! > > I'm brave with strangers, but my family? Hell no. They scare me. > > :-D > > Natalie, one of the Addamses

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (DGB1 <DGB01@aol.com>)


Colin Whipple wrote: > Neato. Did Heintz behave after that? > Well, he started avoiding me. He already thought I had ESP (another long story) but after that he was convinced that I had eyes in the back of my head. ;)

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (pixiscribe@aol.com)


Okay, this is not as good as the others I've been reading here, but this is the only one I can think of the moment that doesn't involve adult situations, violence (j/k), or mature language. The dumbest thing I ever did in my life was to marry a man with the initials PMS (this is true, no joke). Anyway, some of our fights shortly before the greatest day of my life (the DIVORCE...excuse me while I go bake a cake <G>) were pretty nasty. During one of these, I grabbed a bottle of Midol and proceeded to throw the tablets at him one by one while telling him in no uncertain terms to get out of the house (guess I lied, there was mature language <G>). Hey, who said arguing wasn't a form of creative expression? Wendy Happily divorced with a gorgeous lil' boy...who looks just like me ;)

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Colin Whipple <colincpaNOSPAM@soca.com>)


You won that one. :-) Colin DGB1 wrote in message <35844694.5CA87E32@aol.com>... > > >Colin Whipple wrote: > >> Neato. Did Heintz behave after that? >> > >Well, he started avoiding me. He already thought I had ESP (another >long story) but after that he was convinced that I had eyes in the back >of my head. ;) >

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net>)


Wendy...I have tears in my eyes! I love it! Having been there on D Day, I can say I agree with you 100%...I still call my ex on June 13th and wish him Happy Independence Day. Thanks for sharing your story! Melissa PixiScribe wrote: > Okay, this is not as good as the others I've been reading here, but this is the > only one I can think of the moment that doesn't involve adult situations, > violence (j/k), or mature language. > > The dumbest thing I ever did in my life was to marry a man with the initials > PMS (this is true, no joke). Anyway, some of our fights shortly before the > greatest day of my life (the DIVORCE...excuse me while I go bake a cake <G>) > were pretty nasty. During one of these, I grabbed a bottle of Midol and > proceeded to throw the tablets at him one by one while telling him in no > uncertain terms to get out of the house (guess I lied, there was mature > language <G>). Hey, who said arguing wasn't a form of creative expression? > > Wendy > Happily divorced with a gorgeous lil' boy...who looks just like me ;)

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net>)


This is way off topic, but it's one of my all-time favorite humor pieces...I hope y'all enjoy it. Melissa waxing philosophically, and counting down the hours Sarte's Cookbook October 3 - Spoke with Camus today about my cookbook. Though he has never actually eaten, he gave me much encouragement. I rushed home immediately to begin work. How excited I am! I have begun my formula for a Denver omelet. October 4 - Still working on the omelet. There have been stumbling blocks. I keep creating omelets one after another, like soldiers marching into the sea, but each one seems empty, hollow, like stone. I want to create an omelet that expresses the meaninglessness of existence, and instead they taste like cheese. I look at them on the plate, but they do not look back. Tried eating them with the lights off. It did not help. Malraux suggested paprika. October 6 - I have realized that the traditional omelet form (eggs and cheese) is bourgeois. Today I tried making one out of cigarette, some coffee, and four tiny stones. I fed it to Malraux, who puked. I am encouraged, but my journey is still long. October 10 - I find myself trying ever more radical interpretations of traditional dishes, in an effort to somehow express the void I feel so acutely. Today I tried this recipe: Tuna Casserole Ingredients: 1 large casserole dish Instructions: Place the casserole dish in a cold oven. Place a chair facing the oven and sit in it forever. Think about how hungry you are. When night falls, do not turn on the light. While a void is expressed in this recipe, I am struck by its inapplicability to the bourgeois lifestyle. How can the eater recognize that the food denied him is a tuna casserole and not some other dish? I am becoming more and more frustrated. October 25 - I have been forced to abandon the project of producing an entire cookbook. Rather, I now seek a single recipe which will, by itself, embody the plight of man in a world ruled by an unfeeling God, as well as providing the eater with at least one ingredient from each of the four basic food groups. To this end, I purchased six hundred pounds of foodstuffs from the corner grocery and locked myself in the kitchen, refusing to admit anyone. After several weeks of work, I produced a recipe calling for two eggs, half a cup of flour, four tons of beef, and a leek. While this is a start, I am afraid I still have much work ahead. November 15 - Today I made a Black Forest gateau out of five pounds of cherries and a live beaver, challenging the very definition of the word gateau. I was very pleased. Malraux said he admired it greatly, but would not stay for dessert. Still, I feel that this may be my most profound achievement yet, and have resolved to enter it in the Betty Crocker Bake-Off. November 30 - Today was the day of the Bake-Off. Alas, things did not go as I had hoped. During the judging, the beaver became agitated and bit Betty Crocker's wrist. The beaver's powerful jaws are capable of felling blue spruce in less than ten minutes and proved, needless to say, more than a match for the tender limbs of America's favorite homemaker. I only got third place. Moreover, I am now the subject of a rather nasty lawsuit. >From now on, I will live on cigarettes and black coffee.

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (granvia@aol.com)


Mel, Love it. I would write LOL and so forth, but I am laughing too hard! Thanks! Betty Crocker being gnawed? LOL!

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Wickddollnospam@hotmail.com)


On Sun, 14 Jun 1998 17:25:42 GMT, melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net> wrote: >This is way off topic, but it's one of my all-time favorite humor >pieces...I hope y'all enjoy it. > >Melissa >waxing philosophically, and counting down the hours 10:00 PM has NEVER seemed so far away. We need help folks, BIG time. LOL! Natalie, along for the joyride

1998-06-14 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Colin Whipple <colincpaNOSPAM@soca.com>)


Wickddoll wrote in message <35841f6f.369480@news.turbont.net>... > >10:00 PM has NEVER seemed so far away. We need help folks, BIG time. How about some real life stories? I will start; this is from when I went into the Air Force, back in 1967: When I arrived in Basic Training at age 19, I was about the same height I am now (just under 6 feet), but only about 140 lbs. I was rather skinny. I was also rather clumsy, so there was some doubt about my being up to the physical demands. During the first week, all of the skinnies and fatties were pulled out of my unit to for physical testing. They wanted to decide if we should be "held back" for two weeks of nothing but physical training and proper foods. Well, being held back was a fate worse than death. We wanted to get out of basic training and on to what came next. One of the Training Instructers (TIs) at the testing site told me to lie down on my back and do 30 situps. Being not very strong, I was not even able to get to 10 before I had to stop, exhausted. This TI was a big, scary Black (I was from western Minnesota, and my experiences up to that point were rather limited) guy. Well over 6 feet tall, and all muscle. He stood over me with his hands on his hips, glaring down at me and said (here you have to imagine a deeeep Southern drawl), "Boy, Ah desire you to do those situps!" I finished the 30 situps, very quickly. It is interesting what a little bit of adrenaline will do for your abilities!! I did NOT get held back. By the time I finished Basic Training six weeks later I had gained about 25 lbs. Colin

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (srsaima@aol.com)


Okay, guess it is my turn. Once upon a time during my non-illustrious years in data entry, I was a data analyst for a marketing firm. My immediate boss and my co-analyst/coder (who was also a male) were about as chauvanistic as you could get (this was the early 80's). I had already been reprimanded for being too ambitious (get a load) and for not "taking advice" from my co-worker (who by the way WAS NOT my boss). Anywho, one day this co-worker who I will call Dave because that was his name, called me into his office (our offices also had floor to ceiling glass walls that overlooked the data entry area) and I could tell he was pissed about something. He immediately told me to close the door and started to rant and rave about something I had done that he felt had overstepped my position. The more he ranted the funnier it was and it was all I could do not to bust out laughing. As his face turned red (and especially the top of his little bald spotted head), I couldn't help it but burst into laughter. He then proceeded to pound his desk and say "I AM your boss, damn it and you will approve all changes with me, <blah, blah, blah>." The whole time I was shaking with laughter and I thought he was going to bust a blood vein or something. Anyway, when I had had enough, I stood up and looked straight at him and said " I might have more balls than you but I'll be damned if I am going to work with a chauvinist."' And I turned on my heels and marched out of his office laughing. All the data entry girls were mesmirized as I came out because they had seen the exchange but couldn't hear the words. They later told me that when they saw Dave ranting and my shoulders shaking they thought I was crying. Needless to say, before the day was out, I was called into the big boss's office and I told him exactly what I had said and pointed out to him that Dave was not hired as my boss and besides the guy was an ass and didn't know how to do his job. I got a raise from my little escapade. SrSaima (who brooks no disrespect)

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (granvia@aol.com)


BRAVO!! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! BRAVO!! WHISTLE!!!!

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Kat <kathe001@email.msn.com>)


Great story! But, if you got a raise - congrats, belatedly, btw - what may I ask happened to Dave? SrSaima wrote in message <1998061522375300.SAA22095@ladder03.news.aol.com>... >Okay, guess it is my turn. > >Once upon a time during my non-illustrious years in data entry, I was a data >analyst for a marketing firm. My immediate boss and my co-analyst/coder (who >was also a male) >were about as chauvanistic as you could get (this was the early 80's). I had >already been reprimanded for being too ambitious (get a load) and for not >"taking advice" from my co-worker (who by the way WAS NOT my boss). Anywho, >one day this co-worker who I will call Dave because that was his name, called >me into his office (our offices also had floor to ceiling glass walls that >overlooked the data entry area) and I could tell he was pissed about something. > He immediately told me to close the door and started to rant and rave about >something I had done that he felt had overstepped my position. The more he >ranted the funnier it was and it was all I could do not to bust out laughing. >As his face turned red (and especially the top of his little bald spotted >head), I couldn't help it but burst into laughter. He then proceeded to pound >his desk and say "I AM your boss, damn it and you will approve all changes with >me, <blah, blah, blah>." The whole time I was shaking with laughter and I >thought he was going to bust a blood vein or something. >Anyway, when I had had enough, I stood up and looked straight at him and said " >I might have more balls than you but I'll be damned if I am going to work with >a chauvinist."' And I turned on my heels and marched out of his office >laughing. All the data entry girls were mesmirized as I came out because they >had seen the exchange but couldn't hear the words. They later told me that >when they saw Dave ranting and my shoulders shaking they thought I was crying. >Needless to say, before the day was out, I was called into the big boss's >office and I told him exactly what I had said and pointed out to him that Dave >was not hired as my boss and besides the guy was an ass and didn't know how to >do his job. I got a raise from my little escapade. > >SrSaima (who brooks no disrespect)

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (jencchs@aol.com)


> I >had a really fresh mouth. Surprised? Didn't think so. > >:-D > >Natalie, veteran smart-ass You have a Fresh Mouth????? No way!!! That is SUCH a surprise! Jen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CCHS Alumni- Class of '98 Birkoff- "Uh-oh, she's hot for the guy." Nikita- "Up yours, Birkoff." Birkoff- "Any time, babe. My number's in the book." Nikita & Birkoff---La Femme Nikita....USA Network

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (jencchs@aol.com)


>I could tell you about mooning the city of Baltimore from an Amtrak >train...but I don't want to get all potty mouthed...Jen might be reading, >you know <VBG> > > Oh well you can tell it........I won't read....maybe. : ) Jen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CCHS Alumni- Class of '98 Birkoff- "Uh-oh, she's hot for the guy." Nikita- "Up yours, Birkoff." Birkoff- "Any time, babe. My number's in the book." Nikita & Birkoff---La Femme Nikita....USA Network

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (jencchs@aol.com)


>And I said to her, "Of course, you know >what my name means in Greek?" > >My younger brother overheard this, and we've always had this l-e-e-t-l-e >edge of competition between us...besides that, he's one of those guys that >thinks he knows it all and is better than everyone else (his wife is the >same way, too...)...anyway, he sort of sniffs and says, "No Melissa, what >DOES your name mean in Greek?" > >I didn't miss a beat and said, "Chicken f**ker, John." > >Great Aunt Mary whooped and about did a back flip off the piano bench. We >haven't discussed this since in my family. > >Melissa >stings like a bee ROFLMAO Ohhhhh my that was funny......I'm laughing so hard tears are coming to my eyes. Hahahaha Jen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CCHS Alumni- Class of '98 Birkoff- "Uh-oh, she's hot for the guy." Nikita- "Up yours, Birkoff." Birkoff- "Any time, babe. My number's in the book." Nikita & Birkoff---La Femme Nikita....USA Network

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (jencchs@aol.com)


Well since I am a little bit younger than you I haven't had all the experiences as you all have....but here is a story of mine where I embarassed the hell out of my mom.....ok..here it is: I was like 3 or 4yrs old & I was taking Bowling lessons (my mom & dad & my moms parents, who are dead now, were very into bowling....my mom & I think my grandfather are apart of the 600 Club, that is where you bowl 3-200 games during League time...& that is good) because I used to watch my mom & she let me take lessons. So during one lesson we were rolling the ball down the lane & one time my bowling ball went into the gutter. I turned around to my mom & said "Is this when I say Crap Mommy??" My mom turned bright red & said "Yes Jenny" Of course that wasn't a good story.....oh well. I thought I'd share. Jen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CCHS Alumni- Class of '98 Birkoff- "Uh-oh, she's hot for the guy." Nikita- "Up yours, Birkoff." Birkoff- "Any time, babe. My number's in the book." Nikita & Birkoff---La Femme Nikita....USA Network

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Wickddollnospam@hotmail.com)


On 15 Jun 1998 17:40:50 GMT, jencchs@aol.com (JEN CCHS) wrote: Oh, contraire, Jen - that was ADORABLE. But if you'd been MY kid, you'd have asked if you should say a much more 'colorful' word. :-D Natalie, toilet mouth >Well since I am a little bit younger than you I haven't had all the experiences >as you all have....but here is a story of mine where I embarassed the hell out >of my mom.....ok..here it is: >I was like 3 or 4yrs old & I was taking Bowling lessons (my mom & dad & my moms >parents, who are dead now, were very into bowling....my mom & I think my >grandfather are apart of the 600 Club, that is where you bowl 3-200 games >during League time...& that is good) because I used to watch my mom & she >let me take lessons. So during one lesson we were rolling the ball down the >lane & one time my bowling ball went into the gutter. I turned around to my >mom & said "Is this when I say Crap Mommy??" My mom turned bright red & said >"Yes Jenny" >Of course that wasn't a good story.....oh well. I thought I'd share. > > >Jen >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >CCHS Alumni- Class of '98 >Birkoff- "Uh-oh, she's hot for the guy." >Nikita- "Up yours, Birkoff." >Birkoff- "Any time, babe. My number's in the book." >Nikita & Birkoff---La Femme Nikita....USA Network

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net>)


Ohhh, I bet your mommy wanted to put YOU in the gutter for that one!!!!! Melissa who once bowled a perfect game...perfect ZERO JEN CCHS wrote: > Well since I am a little bit younger than you I haven't had all the experiences > as you all have....but here is a story of mine where I embarassed the hell out > of my mom.....ok..here it is: > I was like 3 or 4yrs old & I was taking Bowling lessons (my mom & dad & my moms > parents, who are dead now, were very into bowling....my mom & I think my > grandfather are apart of the 600 Club, that is where you bowl 3-200 games > during League time...& that is good) because I used to watch my mom & she > let me take lessons. So during one lesson we were rolling the ball down the > lane & one time my bowling ball went into the gutter. I turned around to my > mom & said "Is this when I say Crap Mommy??" My mom turned bright red & said > "Yes Jenny" > Of course that wasn't a good story.....oh well. I thought I'd share. > > Jen > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > CCHS Alumni- Class of '98 > Birkoff- "Uh-oh, she's hot for the guy." > Nikita- "Up yours, Birkoff." > Birkoff- "Any time, babe. My number's in the book." > Nikita & Birkoff---La Femme Nikita....USA Network

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (jencchs@aol.com)


>Subject: Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic >From: melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net> >Date: Mon, Jun 15, 1998 14:31 EDT >Message-id: <35856A0E.91F929F2@bellsouth.net> > >Ohhh, I bet your mommy wanted to put YOU in the gutter for that one!!!!! > >Melissa I think she was to embarassed to do anything but say "Yes Jenny" Jen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CCHS Alumni- Class of '98 Birkoff- "Uh-oh, she's hot for the guy." Nikita- "Up yours, Birkoff." Birkoff- "Any time, babe. My number's in the book." Nikita & Birkoff---La Femme Nikita....USA Network

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (revans7877@aol.com)


Only 19 but I work as a dispatch agent for pager companies , basically it's writing down messages and sending them I remember on my first day at work this woman was having contractions and she had apparently paged her husband a few times and her message was alittle bit on the rough side "Bill get your $%^&ing @%& home now and take me to the hospital this is your god damn baby and I don't care what that %^&$% of a mother of you have says, you didn't %$^&ing listen to her when you *&%^ed me and did this now get your @$$ over here it being my first day and all I didn't know what I was supposed to write or not so I just wrote everything she said word for word the guy called my manager and I got chewed for it but it was worth it it's not that good of one but I won't share the man and thor A>A>M> "When life gives you lemons give em back"

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (clbcrb@aol.com)


>.Cotillion came too late...as my grandmother used to say, >I'm a hellion. > >Melissa >PS: John Waters is also my cultural hero....that will tell you a lot! > Yes Melissa..I too attended Cotillion classes...can't claim to be a lady but I sure can fake it (Madeline would be proud). ...and John Waters? Now you're scaring me. Domino

1998-06-15 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net>)


His collection of essays are DIVINE.....especially the one he wrote on Jean Luc Goddard's movie "Hail Mary" which I HATED...I would've horked had I known...we share similar views about said movie. I've also seen all JW's movies, but I've been an underground film buff since the early 70s, and he is wickedly funny, and not just gross....Of course, he's cleaned up his act with films like "Hairspray" "Cry Baby" and "Serial Mom"... Melissa who misses Divine Clbcrb wrote: > >.Cotillion came too late...as my grandmother used to say, > >I'm a hellion. > > > >Melissa > > >PS: John Waters is also my cultural hero....that will tell you a lot! > > > > Yes Melissa..I too attended Cotillion classes...can't claim to be a lady but I > sure can fake it (Madeline would be proud). > > ...and John Waters? Now you're scaring me. > > Domino

1998-06-17 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Kat <kathe001@email.msn.com>)


Sorry, I keep trying but all I come up with is stuff like...hail...snow...rain...cats...dogs... But if I ever conjure greenbacks, I'll be sure to spread the joy - right after I get back from my world cruise ;-) K And she is no longer my boss - whew! - I quit a week later...with two weeks notice, just so's I could enjoy the stomping around and door slamming over it, hehehe. melpor wrote in message <35879FCC.F51B522C@bellsouth.net>... >Can you conjur up an extra thou for my checking acct? It's running a little low >this month... > >Humbly beseeching, >Melissa >PS: I won't tell your boss, so not to increase your time in Floridian purgatory >(talkin' about the heat here!)

1998-06-17 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Jaida <richmonds@sprintmail.com>)


mac wrote in message <3587CD29.AF14E1B@concentric.net>... >its spelled with an "h" pittsburgh >the city of my birth sorryh. Jaida

1998-06-17 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (melpor <melpor@bellsouth.net>)


Ah, Great One with Powers beyond the Outer Limits: Can you conjur up an extra thou for my checking acct? It's running a little low this month... Humbly beseeching, Melissa PS: I won't tell your boss, so not to increase your time in Floridian purgatory (talkin' about the heat here!) Kat wrote: > Funny how what goes 'round...isn't it? My last "appointment" at a Boston > firm (appt. - because my boss fancied herself royalty) was also a trip...she > actually accused me of conjuring a blizzard that ruined a big meeting (no > one could get through)...so now I'm in desert-planet Florida, instead of > braving the floods up north...yep, that's me... > Kat...in control of weather and all things natural... > > SrSaima wrote in message > <1998061700122800.UAA00442@ladder01.news.aol.com>... > >>Great story! But, if you got a raise - congrats, belatedly, btw - what > may > >>I ask happened to Dave? > >> > >> > > > >Nothing absolutely nothing. But to show you how magnanimous I am, sometime > >later, Dave had a bleeding ulcer that was so severe he passed out in the > >bathroom. He had been out of work for a few days and had been seen by a > doctor > >for it and had returned to work. On this day after sometime, I realized > that > >Dave had disappeared in the direction of the restrooms so I sent one of the > >guys to check on him. Sure enough, they found him passed out in a pool of > >blood in the bathroom, so I called the medics and they rushed him to the > >hospital. I even went to see him as he lay there hooked to all manner of > >machinery. He recovered and thanked me for my concern and from that point > on > >his attitude changed somewhat. Although he still was incompetent at his > job. > >LOL > > > >SrSaima (glad she quit that firm)

1998-06-17 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (mac <dkmac@concentric.net>)


its spelled with an "h" pittsburgh the city of my birth

1998-06-17 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (srsaima@aol.com)


>Great story! But, if you got a raise - congrats, belatedly, btw - what may >I ask happened to Dave? > > Nothing absolutely nothing. But to show you how magnanimous I am, sometime later, Dave had a bleeding ulcer that was so severe he passed out in the bathroom. He had been out of work for a few days and had been seen by a doctor for it and had returned to work. On this day after sometime, I realized that Dave had disappeared in the direction of the restrooms so I sent one of the guys to check on him. Sure enough, they found him passed out in a pool of blood in the bathroom, so I called the medics and they rushed him to the hospital. I even went to see him as he lay there hooked to all manner of machinery. He recovered and thanked me for my concern and from that point on his attitude changed somewhat. Although he still was incompetent at his job. LOL SrSaima (glad she quit that firm)

1998-06-17 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (Wickddollnospam@hotmail.com)


On 17 Jun 1998 00:12:27 GMT, srsaima@aol.com (SrSaima) wrote: Girl, you should write a BOOK. Oh, wait. I think you just did. LOL! :-D Natalie, ever-ready smart-ass >>Great story! But, if you got a raise - congrats, belatedly, btw - what may >>I ask happened to Dave? >> >> > >Nothing absolutely nothing. But to show you how magnanimous I am, sometime >later, Dave had a bleeding ulcer that was so severe he passed out in the >bathroom. He had been out of work for a few days and had been seen by a doctor >for it and had returned to work. On this day after sometime, I realized that >Dave had disappeared in the direction of the restrooms so I sent one of the >guys to check on him. Sure enough, they found him passed out in a pool of >blood in the bathroom, so I called the medics and they rushed him to the >hospital. I even went to see him as he lay there hooked to all manner of >machinery. He recovered and thanked me for my concern and from that point on >his attitude changed somewhat. Although he still was incompetent at his job. >LOL > >SrSaima (glad she quit that firm)

1998-06-18 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (writerrita@aol.com)


In article <6m6484$f9o$1@chile.it.earthlink.net>, "Jaida" <richmonds@sprintmail.com> writes: > >Jaida (PS -one month later we took another trip and that one was great!) > > Since my dh and I ride a bike, I loved your horror story. Rita

1998-06-21 00:00:00 - Re: Sarte's Cookbook...off topic - (hondarill@aol.com)


>I turned around to my >mom & said "Is this when I say Crap Mommy??" My mom turned bright red & said >"Yes Jenny" >Of course that wasn't a good story.....oh well. I thought I'd share. > > Hey Jen, cut yourself some slack. Just because you are a youngster here, doesn't mean we don't appreciate your comments!! And I thought this was VERY funny, I acutally LOL!!! Let us know when you get back.